"What is it Like?"

Many years ago I worked at one of the few Vampire Treatment Facilities in the western US. Here is part of a transcript of a session, (with ID info removed):

"What is it like?”
“What is it like. At first it was like being a vegetarian with an insatiable appetite for red meat. You can’t believe what you’re doing, what you must do to maintain your—existence. You try not to do it. You try to find ways to minimize the damage, to do as little harm as possible... So you swear off live blood. Or you take only from the willing. But of course you do damage. It’s your nature—you are a dealer of death and destruction. You swear off blood altogether. You starve until you’re ravenous, a sick, weak animal. And then you come upon a human—even sick and starving, you’re stronger than they are—and you can’t control how you feed. You are nothing but the Thirst. Any humanity, any consciousness, is burnt away in the fever for blood.”
“The Thirst?”
“Food and drink and sex all mixed into one. And sin, and death, and hell. The certain knowledge that if you are destroyed it is the cold dark or the fire.”
“Do you know?”
“I know who I am, what I am. But if there’s anything after destruction—ask the demons.”
“God help you.”
“Don’t let me mislead you. Plenty of people envy the vampires, want to be one of the Undead. I did when I was human. There’re many volunteers. The vampires are beautiful and strong. And they have one huge advantage over humans. They’re heartless. They don’t care anymore—they have nothing to care with. They’ve moved beyond caring. They’re invincible. Nothing touches them. Nothing hurts them.”

Patently untrue, as this vampire no longer exists. But his responses to my questions still haunt me.