Sunday, January 11, 2009

New Government Fact Paper on Vampires

I just reviewed the latest fact paper from the Congressional Committee on Non-Human Involvement in the Global Economy. For some reason the link is not working, so I will probably devote a few posts to the most relevant excerpts:

Where do vampires come from?
All vampires are created from humans. There are no “born” vampires. Vampires insist that humans cannot be Turned against their will—a human must ask to go under the Dark to rise as a vampire. This may be a matter of semantics, however; the vampire mojo—amplified by eye contact, breath, or physical touch—may greatly reduce or eliminate a human victim’s ability to resist. In addition, Turning is often or always requested and accomplished at the point of death, when becoming a vampire is the only alternative.

Vampires may feed upon and kill a human at first approach, or may return over a period of time, generally during the person’s sleep or while they are alone and in an amnesic, hypnotic state. Such return visits eventually end in death, most frequently by blood loss, sometimes by accident or injury under circumstances unrelated to the vampire’s attention. Most often the victim truly dies. Less frequently the newly dead individual rises at sunset (or in three days—reports vary) as a vampire. Folklore suggests that the victim must also drink the blood of the vampire to be Turned, but exceptions to this “rule” have been reported. Despite speculation, it is unknown at this time why some rise and some do not. The specific infectious agent—viral, demonic, or extraterrestrial have all been proposed—is also unknown. Any deceased individual suspected to have been vampire prey, or corpse found with the marks of a vampire on it, is by legal mandate staked, decapitated, and cremated. Many people now specifically request such postmortem care regardless of the cause of death to prevent even the possibility of rising as one of the Undead.

Of course these publicly-released reports are cautious in their statements. But it is always amazing to me how little we actually know about these creatures who walk among us.

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