Saturday, November 22, 2008

Werewolf Referral


I had an email question from a colleague the other day which I share here with her permission:

Hi Dr. Wallace:

I ran across your interesting and informative blog recently, and remembered it when I had a call from a potential patient yesterday. She is thirty-something, a working mom, a werewolf, and dealing with severe PMS. Even with medication (for the PMS and to prevent the Change), she is having breakthrough episodes whenever the full moon falls during the week before her period. The only solution she has found so far is to curl up for three days with a romance novel and a box of chocolates--which is obviously playing havoc with her job.

Although I'm not really qualified to deal with this type of preternatural question, I remembered your site and told her I would query you about her problem(s). What can you suggest?

Thanks in advance,

name deleted


And here is my reply:

Dear Dr. deleted:

Thank you for your inquiry.

These sorts of breakthrough episodes are of course very disconcerting to the patient and to everyone around her. As her psychotherapist, I would first establish communication with her prescribing MD (hopefully one trained in treatment of the preternatural) to make sure he or she is aware of the problem and is using the optimal class and dosage of both the PMS med--usually an antidepressant such as fluoxetine or paroxetine--and her anti-Change medication.

Sometimes, however, werewolf patients are reluctant to use the stronger medications, or--as seems the case with this patient--the meds are not (or are no longer) effective. As you know, before the development of anti-Change pharmacological therapies, many weres were still able to live active, happy and productive lives even during full-blown lycanthropic episodes.

There has recently been a return to the traditional or natural treatment of werewolves. Several associations and support groups have arisen, including: the Association of Homeopathic Lycanthropists; the NAAAP/National Association for the Advancement of Animal-People; Wolf, Cat, and Bear; and HOWL (Heralds of Wolf Liberation, a somewhat more radical political action group).

In my opinion, one of the best groups is sponsored by Utah's own People of Ammon Clan. They host modified 12 Step meetings at their colony headquarters near Fish Springs (west Juab County), and for urban weres who are unable to travel so far, a weekly meeting is held at their Clan Hall in West Valley City. The Clan has lived peacefully in Utah since its formation in 1857.

I would be happy to consult with you in your treatment of this patient, or if you would rather refer her, she can contact me at the phone number below.

Again, thank you for your question,

Claire

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