New Government Fact Paper on Vampires

I just reviewed the latest fact paper from the Congressional Committee on Non-Human Involvement in the Global Economy. For some reason the link is not working, so I will probably devote a few posts to the most relevant excerpts:

Where do vampires come from?
All vampires are created from humans. There are no “born” vampires. Vampires insist that humans cannot be Turned against their will—a human must ask to go under the Dark to rise as a vampire. This may be a matter of semantics, however; the vampire mojo—amplified by eye contact, breath, or physical touch—may greatly reduce or eliminate a human victim’s ability to resist. In addition, Turning is often or always requested and accomplished at the point of death, when becoming a vampire is the only alternative.

Vampires may feed upon and kill a human at first approach, or may return over a period of time, generally during the person’s sleep or while they are alone and in an amnesic, hypnotic state. Such return visits eventually end in death, most frequently by blood loss, sometimes by accident or injury under circumstances unrelated to the vampire’s attention. Most often the victim truly dies. Less frequently the newly dead individual rises at sunset (or in three days—reports vary) as a vampire. Folklore suggests that the victim must also drink the blood of the vampire to be Turned, but exceptions to this “rule” have been reported. Despite speculation, it is unknown at this time why some rise and some do not. The specific infectious agent—viral, demonic, or extraterrestrial have all been proposed—is also unknown. Any deceased individual suspected to have been vampire prey, or corpse found with the marks of a vampire on it, is by legal mandate staked, decapitated, and cremated. Many people now specifically request such postmortem care regardless of the cause of death to prevent even the possibility of rising as one of the Undead.

Of course these publicly-released reports are cautious in their statements. But it is always amazing to me how little we actually know about these creatures who walk among us.

Why Aren't We Worrying About This?

To those who are so extremely fearful of werewolves, vampires, demons, and the Fey, I ask along with prestigious political blogger Matt Yglesias why we are so complacent about the much greater threat of out-of-control technology (re: Elliot Spitzer's proposal for robots in schools):

After the human race is enslaved by robots, there are going to be small rebel groups hiding out somewhere and Elliot Spitzer’s going to be writing op-eds about how “no one could have predicted” that the robots would rebel and overthrow their masters. And it’ll be left to DFH bloggers to observe that this is in fact one of the most widely predicted scenarios in all of science fiction. From the proto-SF of Mary Shelly’s Frankenstein through to Karel Capek’s R.U.R. and The War Against the Newts all the way up through Terminator and The Matrix. Yes, yes, yes eventually the Butlerian Jihad will allow us to re-overthrow the Thinking Machines and establish human rule but do we really want to fall into that trap?

Just say no to robots. And certainly say no to robots in our schools.

I can only agree. We cannot be too careful regarding this threat.

Interesting documentary...

...on the problem of juvenile vampirism:

"Living With the Undead"

I just finished famed vampire-hunter Liam McInnis' new book Living with the Undead: Anti-Vampire America since the Attacks of October. His explanation (in the preface) of the difference between European and American vampirism is interesting:

Vampires have always existed. For ages, tales of the bloodsucking immortals—nightmare creatures from the far edge of human consciousness—have frightened children and travelers away from the Dark. In late 19th century Europe, several spectacular vampire attacks provoked public attention and concern; the Victorian press gave Undead sightings as much breathless attention as they gave the exploits of serial killers; and for a time the infamous (and possibly mythical) Dracula rivaled the notoriety of Jack the Ripper. We in the US were slow to recognize the danger. Allied governments suspected vampire involvement in the early conflicts of the 20th century, particularly with Hitler’s Werewolves after the Second Were War, but decades passed before relevant WWII reports were declassified, published, and discussed in the media. More secretive than other major groups—the partially assimilated Fey populations, for example, or the North American lycanthrope clans (which have admittedly made progress in controlling the Change with medication)—the few vampires in the U.S. kept to the shadows, concealing their predation and avoiding publicity. Rumored Undead activity was left to the dubious defensive expertise of local ward-crafters, magicians, or exorcists. Official law enforcement seldom dealt with them. Certainly they were not viewed as serious threats to national security.

Vampires, however, have been documented—if sporadically—in the New World from the time of the European conquest. Visitors to Rio or São Paolo, or to certain Caribbean islands, are routinely advised to take precautions against vampires, as against voodoo or intestinal parasites. New Orleans has titillated tourists with rumors of the Undead since her inception as a city.

But after the new Millennium came the Attacks of October. And everything changed.

You Can Grow Up to Be President...

...maybe.

The recent election results have been exciting, no matter our politics, because of the historic nature of the President-elect's very identity. Some still object to his heritage, however, and remain unconvinced that he can be called truly American. Some call on the Supreme Court to rule him inelegible for the presidency because of it.

When will all of us accept our Fey and part-Fey nighbors as fully American citizens?

Fallout from Prop 8 (Banning Preternatural/Human Marriage)

The elections are over, and we're now seeing the blowback from the churches' support of the California prohibition on the "unnatural" marriages of preternaturals and humans. I have a personal stake in this issue--it was only by the barest margin that language was included exempting Fey/human alliances from the ban. It is mind-boggling to me that my 20+ year marriage, which includes two part-Fey children, was nearly declared unconstitutional in California. I can only imagine what my friends who are in werewolf/human, mermaid/human, and demon/human partnerships are feeling right now.

Actually, I don't have to guess at their reaction.

And it isn't just the preternatural populations who need to worry. As stated in this article from Reuters:

...[The] marriage ban could open the door to legal discrimination against unpopular groups if the state Supreme Court allows the voter-approved measure to stand, blacks, Latinos, Asians and other minorities said.... [O]pponents of the measure decry what they consider a civil rights violation.

California's highest court agreed on November 19 to hear a challenge, based on whether the state constitution requires support from the legislature -- as well as a majority vote of the people -- to strip rights from any group.

Legal scholars say the measure, which defines marriage as between a [human] man and a [human] woman, breaks new ground by limiting the courts' ability to protect minorities. "They could take away any right from any group," said University of Southern California Law Professor David Cruz.

The ban, California Proposition 8, amended the constitution with 52 percent support -- less than is required to approve some state bond measures.

"The entire purpose behind the constitutional principle of equal protection would be subverted if the constitutional protection of unpopular minorities were subject to simple majority rule," read a brief by black, Asian and Hispanic groups challenging the ban. "The history of California demonstrates with sobering clarity the potential for disfavored minorities to be subjected to oppression by hostile majorities," the minority groups say in their brief, pointing to segregation laws and one excluding Asian-Americans from land ownership as examples.

"It is not hypothetical. It's a track record," said Stanford University law professor Jane Schacter, who has not filed briefs in the case.

The California high court could hear arguments in March. Berkeley's Choper says it will be an uphill battle to persuade the judges that the measure requires legislative action. Choper said he understands why the groups are fighting the ban and he is sympathetic, "but that's not the way the system works."

Preternatural Immigration

A reader dissents:

How can you possibly believe it is a good idea to open our borders to groups like the German werewolf clans? Despite what you liberal-types believe, there ARE people who are so different from us that inviting them into our country puts us in DANGER. The werewolves are violent, over-emotional, and clannish. They have weird hunting and eating practices. They WON'T assimilate into our society--just look at how "well" they've been getting along with their neighbors in the Schwarzenwald! So lately they've been the victims of "ethnic cleansing," well, in my opinion it's probably JUSTIFIED. They fought against us in WWII, in case you forget. Seventy years ago they were TERRORISTS. The leopard doesn't change its spots, and neither does the WEREWOLF, imho. Sometimes I think that they have the right idea up in Alaska, hunting them from helicopters.

Of course that doesn't mean we shouldn't accept other, more peaceful preternaturals into our country. I am not a bigot. It's just that werewolves DESERVE to be prejudiced against.

I don't even know where to start with this. The werewolf clans fought against the US nearly a century ago, and that is reason enough to keep them out today, when they are in danger of genocide. Further, the genocide is their own fault because of their weird cultural practices. They won't assimilate, despite the evidence of our own perfectly assimilated American werewolf clans. We should not only not accept them as refugees, we should participate in the genocide ourselves.

But I am not a bigot, because I like faeries.

It seems like this type of reactionary, anti-immigrant thinking is gaining ground here in the US, particularly as the enonomy falters and people are fearful for their jobs. It is true that the werewolves, with their physical advantages, do tend to be particularly good at jobs that require strength, speed, stamina, and a sort of contained aggressiveness--jobs which might otherwise go to less educated Americans. But surely we all benefit from those abilities. Despite the falling dollar, we are still the land of opportunity and ingenuity. Surely we can figure out how to help these people who are facing destruction in their homeland find a better life with us.